Vermont Queen aka "Dutchess of the Daily Grind": Acts of Kindness

Vermont Queen aka "Dutchess of the Daily Grind": Acts of Kindness: "I get great pleasure doing things for others and a couple of years ago I started something that also brings me great pleasure. I bought a co..."

Acts of Kindness

I get great pleasure doing things for others and a couple of years ago I started something that also brings me great pleasure. I bought a couple of little hearts made of silver at a local Art Gallery and at different times I placed them on my husbands key board. This went on for awhile and I would find little things here and there. It had been awhile since I hade done that and I again bought some different shapes of hearts. Rather than using a bag, I just dropped them in my coin purse. Before I got a chance to do it I was paying for something somewhere and the cashier was having a horrible day. The customers were agitated bacause the line was so long and even though she called for help, no one came. So when it came my turn I was more than compashionate than usual and when I went to give her change I noticed the hearts I had bought for my husband. I counted out the change and included a heart with it. The look on her face was pricesless. My heart grew that day knowing that even the simplest things can make a difference. I suggest you put your red shoes on and make a difference. It is a wonderful feeling and very unique. Have a beautiful day.

To be Right or to be Happy.

Are you the type to be right or to be happy?. I say this from my most infuriating experience of being right and I will explain a good example. I go to Costco at least once a week. Almost every single time, I am in a rage before I even get out of the truck. First off you have to find a spot that does not already have a cart obtaining the space, (that is what starts my blood boiling). So, ya get out of the truck and move the cart so you can get in and that is my cart for the day. No drama. Then you walk closer to the doors and see some _______ putting their cart into the handicap spot. OMG. This would send me over the edge. I would kindly say to the person "you really are not going to leave that there are you"? and the exchange of words would begin. This has been a part of my Costco experience ever since I have been going to Costco. So, you all might be thinking what a bitch I am or that it is not any of my business anyway. Well, you all might be right but my point is this.I will never have control over what others do that I do not like so it is up to me to change my glasses and see the situation differently or my experience at Costco will always be the same. Don't think this is an easy task for me or that every muscle in my body isn't tight or that I do it every time But, I am trying my best to put my red shoes on every time I go there and just accept it. I get out of my truck, move the cart, park the truck and start putting a smile on my face before I see anyone else. Then I proceed to the doors and when I see someone doing this, I simply say, would you like for me to put that away for you?. Some day I would like to think I could say that and mean it but I am totally not there yet. Do we want to be right or do we want to be Happy. I choose to put my red shoes on and be happy. I can not be concerned with what others are thinking or doing. Have a beautiful day at Cotco.

Family Heirlooms

Just what is a family heirloom?. In my opinion, it is something our parents had while growing up that we LOVE and WANT to have in our homes that bring us happiness or fond memories. I ask this question because of many reasons but recently I was at a party and this topic came up about a friends mother-in-law that was trying to divide her belongings between the kids. This situation faces all of us at one time or another. My mother-in-law has asked me similar questions just recently. I also have had boxes and boxes of my grandmothers and great grandmothers stuff that followed me all the way to Germany and back. Some of this STUFF made it all the way to Vermont. This is the reality of it all girls. Why is it a tradition to carry other peoples shit around when we don't even like it, use it or remember it? I now only have what I love in my house. I know this may have hurt my mother and mother-in-law's feelings but what am I supposed to do. Carry it around until they die and get rid of it. No, be honest and let them give it to someone else that may enjoy it. We have the right to collect our stuff too. Just don't try to give it to your kids when they don't want it. A lot of guilt comes with those boxes of stuff if you let it. I say, put your red shoes on and go shopping and collect your own shit that you LOVE. Have a beautiful day.

You could always say this "No thank you, I am having a lot of fun collecting my own stuff but thanks for thinking of me" that was very kind.

Valentine's Day

So, were we good to ourselves yesterday or did we expect someone else to treat us special?. I used to do that every year and every year I was crushed. It didn't matter that my husband was good to me every day of the year but boy was he in trouble if he didn't remember Valentines Day. That means he was in trouble at least once a year. He is not a hallmark type of guy and never will be. I have learned not to set the expectations and I am not crushed anymore. It is more important to treat ourselves like a queen all year long than to expect it once a year by someone else. Even when they do do something, it is usually not enough. Right. The wrong color of flowers, a restaurant we don't care for etc. Think about it. We can set ourselved up for disappointment when we set expectations. They didn't put enough effort into it. They must not care. Now that we know this we can let go of the expectations and plan our celebrations accordingly and have a great time. Expectations are a terrible thing and we should not do it. If we want them to do something for us we need to write it down word for word so they get it and they don't get it wrong. If we do this, we can celebrate Valentines Day. If not, good luck, I hope you have a beautiful day. Happy V-Day

Are we helping our kids grow up or not.

How many times have you heard "Mom, do you know where my DS charger is", mom, "do you know where my laptop charger is"" mom........................OMG, it can drive you crazy. So, I started lableing them with tape so they know who's is who's and the argument is over before it starts. I also dedicated one drawer in the house specific to those easily lost cords. A good idea would be to say this. If I find this cord laying around the house and not put back after using it than that electronic becomes mine for a week. It is amazing how fast they put back the cords when they are done. My kids do not have a clue about the price of things. I am trying to teach them and it is fun to watch their eyes open wide. Gloves are a biggy around here. They take them for granted because in Vermont it is one of the things we collect and value so dearly. If you lose your gloves and are forced to wear the cheaper ones than your hands will freeze. After wearing a pair of those long enough I guarantee they will keep a closer eye on the good ones. Making them pay the price of things makes them pay more attention. Mom and Dad are not there to replace things. We are here to provide them but not over and over and over. I am so guilty of doing this and now that I am getting nervous that they will not know how to be accountable as an adult I am spending every waking moment teaching them about life and reality of things. I am already sad thinking of one of them leaving home in 5 years. I sure hope he can find his laptop charger. hee hee   So, now that I do not have to look for cords, it allows me to do something else. Life is a beautiful thing.

Why worry about things

Have you ever worried about something and in the end it all worked out the way it was supposed to or the way it was going to anyway whether we worried about it or not?. We all worry. I was the queen of that too. I was frazzled,frustrated and discombobulated most of the time. In the last couple of years I have spent a LOT of energy making my life peaceful and in order for me to do that I had to give up worrying. Easier said than done. Yesterday my husband said to me "it must be nice not having to worry about anything" After I about killed him for his snide remark I thought about it all day. I wanted to defend myself and then realized, "good". I am proud that he would think that. All my hard work is paying off if I am demonstrating peace with my body language and words. I don't want to worry about the flat tire or the broken garage door. It is what it is. I want to take a deep breath and let it work out. Me worrying about it is not going to fix it. I also do not want to worry about what others think of me. It is not any of my business. I do think it is cool that that is how my husband thinks of me though. So, I will put my red shoes on today and continue to make peace in my life. I can only fix the things that are in my control and those are the things I have a right to worry about. If I can fix them then I don't have much time to worry either. Have a peaceful day.